Has anyone been short on inspiration lately? Somehow, no matter the fact that I know better, I’ve allowed myself to linger in the uninspired, lonely world of feeling the heaviness of life. After saying goodbye to my 21 year old sweet fur muffin, I launched straight into a totally disjointed, and not-the-way-I-anticipated-it visit with my parents. I came home feeling raw, weary, and wishing for something I didn’t even know how to put into words. Life has been whispering, quietly, but firmly, that I’m not thriving, just surviving, and believe me, that whisper is correct, and it’s time to turn the tables. The quiet and firm whispers are speaking life to this tired heart, and I’m listening. I don’t mean just friends sharing encouragement, that’s absolutely a thing, but I’m talking about articles and quotes I’ve come across – out of the blue – that speak to my struggle to grab hold of the light again, photos on my timeline, an Uber driver, a fun and engaging book I’ve just started, even social media posts that seem to come straight for me in my little pity party for one. And, talk about a serendipitous moment, A HUMMINGBIRD literally, just now, landed on my petunias, sipped on nectar, and seemed to hang out long enough, as if it wanted me to see it; if that doesn’t shout “ENJOY LIFE”, I don’t know what does. I’ll take your nudges, life, I hear you!
My flowers are blooming, even after I cut them back rather harshly; I genuinely thought they were a lost cause afterwards. What a parallel, to see myself in those sweet blooms, coming back to life after being cut down, and losing so much beauty in the process. They were merely surviving, too, tired looking, worn down by their environment and in need of refreshment. The trees, with their heavy green leaves drenched in chlorophyll from the sunny summer days, are about ready to let go, rest, and prepare for the next season, but they will live their best life until longer nights signal their slowdown. Butterflies are everywhere, fluttering here and there after total transformation; their life as a caterpillar was literally dissolved, but when they come back, oh, the beauty is real!! Have you noticed longer and sharper shadows, shorter days, cooler mornings? Autumn is when I bounce back to life, but doggone it, I’m bouncing back right now in time to enjoy the dog days of summer. No time to lose, right? Anywhere I look, as long as I have my eyes open to joy, I can see refreshment, and I’m taking hold.
This photo was snapped back in September of 2013, but I still remember not so pleasant memories surrounding the capture. To me, it’s a very real reminder that life can literally spring out of anything. The dainty bloom pushed up through gravel, in between tough and hardy weeds, and looks as lovely as anything you’d see in a planter. Struggles, losses, heartaches and obstacles can lead to beauty if we allow ourselves to rise despite circumstances we can neither change, nor control. In other words, thrive rather than survive.
So today, I’ve made up my mind … I’m choosing joy, happiness, and sunbeams. I’m recapturing the light and positivity that I let slip out of reach, and replaced with the heaviness of life, a pandemic, virtual schooling 2 kids, sickness of parents, and losing beloved pets. The choice is mine, right? I’m making the commitment to get out and walk more, like I used to walk with sweet Ginger, and refresh my soul with the sights and sounds of nature. I’m choosing to send the kiddos upstairs earlier in the evening before bed, so I can cozy up in the ambiance and quiet I so love, and deserve, rather than only enjoy it when I get up for work at 4 am. Writing, reading, cultivating my spirit, spending time quieting my thoughts, these are all things I locked in a dark closet, but I’m actively turning the key and flinging open the door. As of today, I choose light, peace, and a gracious heart. You can, too!
With Sunbeams and Love,
Racheal Xx
